Preparing Older Child for a New Sibling
- Edlayne Fernandes
- Sep 18
- 5 min read
The preparation process of an older child for a new sibling on the way, can be a task tied to an overdose of emotions and excitement. You want the announcement to be successful in a way that your child embraces this transition smoothly and accommodating.
As someone who works with expecting moms often as a Denver Maternity Photographer AND mom of a rainbow pre-teen, I've seen a lot throughout the way and I've learned so much over the years, that I can share with clients who become family to me, when it's time to convey this big announcement to their little ones about becoming big brothers or sisters.
Before New Baby Arrives
Toddlers are smarter than we think and they can truly sense when a new baby is arriving.
They won't understand the concept of pregnancy itself but their purity and acute sense of perception is undeniable. Subtle changes in their parent's behavior, energy levels, mood swings, morning sickness and general routine can lead a toddler to a new level of intuition "there is something new in the air". The awakening of this fifth sense can lead to changes in a toddler's behavior, such as increased clinginess, irritability, sleep disruptions, change of appetite and others ups and downs compared to previous daily routine, a mirror of reactions to the impending change in the family dynamics.
Depending on the child or the number of existing siblings, the younger the child, the less they are able to communicate how they are feeling and expressing a chain of new subtle reactions to this unveiled present mystery in the air.
Some children respond with joy, anger or no expression at all – regardless, it is all totally normal.
This is a good opportunity to help your child understand their emotions while watching the amazing spurt in their emotional development.
The following 5 tips will help your child prepare for the new baby before he or she arrives.
1. Baby steps to prepare the stage for the big announcement.
Prior to doing the big announcement, be sure to break the news, into small dosages, to the "big to be". This way the announcement becomes more natural and your toddler will understand and feel included in the process of this new change of life.
When parents adopt tools tied to their age, by reading children's books about newborns and siblings with your child, the stage becomes more prepared for the news. Show your child his/her newborn clothing items, allow them touch, smell and do a small play with these items to get love growing in their little minds and hearts.
2. Share visual stories of when they were a baby.
Research about movies including the arrival of a new sibling, show and tell visual stories with the help of albums and physical photographs of your child and how lovely the process was. Remember to maintain a routine that involves your child in the pregnancy and preparations. Make sure they won't feel disregarded and receive plenty of one-on-one attention and repeated reassurance of love.
Play with drawings and make sure to include a newborn in the new picture: family together, sibling and newborn, so on...
Do not oversell the new baby but shared pictures and reminisce of their infanthood, reminds them that they were once a baby in mommy's belly and it was a lovely process to prepare for his/her arrival. Assure that, this time, you are doing this together.
This is the perfect time to remember how tinny they were and understand the process mommy and new baby are going through.
If you have household pets, do not forget to include a new baby item, with a baby scent smell, for the dog or cat to start feeling safe and familiar with. Pets are our kids too!
3. Use the four seasons in your favor.
Instead of saying: "We have 100 more sleeps until baby arrives", try to make it lighter using the seasons of the year as explanatory timelines and frames. Example: "Your little sister or brother will arrive when it gets really cold outside." For older children, consider giving them the due date and a wall calendar to help track and understand time related to the growth of mommy's belly and track timeline of the due date. Also consider sharing pictures by phases: "This month our baby is really tinny. She/he is the size of a pea, orange, avocado, tennis ball, etc." This visual comparison will include the older sibling in the tracking and imaginatively process.
4. Include the big-to-be to your child.
Again, do not oversell the new baby but make sure to create daily time, when you are alone with your child, during dinner time, during outing time showing other growing families to your child and include the big-to-be by asking their opinion on daily tasks and age appropriate subjects that will make sense in young minds. For example:
Let them pick clothes for the new baby and maybe ask "which one would you like for yourself too?" The child won't feel that everything new is long offered to the new baby and there is nothing else left for him/her... Sad emotions are easily avoided this way.
Help organize drawers with newborn essentials.
Participate in the process of selecting new furniture, nursery trinkets decorations, toys and new reorganizations, rearrangements around the house.
Ask your child if there is any current toy he/she would like to gift or share with the new baby.
Explain upcoming visuals about: "How cool will be to have a sibling to help you assemble this puzzle/toy together!"
Share a list of baby names with your child.
Your child's opinion matter a lot during the expecting time and helping them feel like they are part of welcoming the new baby will help them embrace the earth-side arrival of a new bundle of joy!
Do not rush milestones and expect changes.
It's very tempting to rush so many things about the new baby to our children but, as moms, we have to remember to keep it all low key and share our love and affection to all individuals involved in the process. Rushing milestones can do more damage than good to feelings. Allow yourself and your child to continue a natural daily routine and they process will be embrace along the way.
Although you are trying your very best to prepare your child for a life change in routine and lifestyle, you can still expect a roller-coaster in mood, behavior and attitude. Things are already changing with a growing baby in the belly and will be completely different once he/she makes their grand entrance into this world.
The last thing you want is to see your child feeling left behind. Avoid major shifts like potty training or moving beds during this time. Encourage visitors to focus on the older child too.
While some children welcome their new sibling with excitement and open heart, when the real deal moment arrives, some may show signs of loneliness and broken hearts...
Conclusion
Regardless, the overall goal is to make sure your child feels loved, included, needed and appreciated.
Make sure to include them in as much of the journey as you can. Not to mention, I'm sure they would love to help and/or watch you folding items, organizing the new nursery or that very special corner of your home with new baby's essentials.
When baby arrives and as baby grows, make sure to include your toddler to help with bottles, try baby foods and become inclusive in this new journey as a family.
They are not only gaining a new sibling, but they will also start their journey of having a lifelong friend that are here with beautiful ties and a lifelong series of discoveries and adventures to share.
Aurora, CO 80016
Comments